Gainzzz Bro, Gainzzz or Hypertrophy, GET SOME!

Hypertrophy

The reason we all start working out is: To score some ass Make Gainzzzz so we can score some ass But it's not always cool, PC, comfortable, to say that and I'm sure some prude with a Huffington Post column will get a hold of this, write some junk about how this mindset is the "problem" with the Health and Fitness/ gym culture. Except, it's not. Ain't nothing wrong with trying to look alright and make some gainzz along the way. For those of you who are all like, "Gainzzz,  wtf are Gainzzz?" Rosetta Stone for the non-bro: Gainzz = Muscle Hypertrophy Why is Hypertrophy Important? Cause it's Gainzzz and you need some be to a swoldier in the bro … [Read more...]

Confused Muscles, the WOD Mentality and Why you Never Get any Better.

The WOD Mentality

People have workout ADD. They can't stick to one god damn thing for more than 2 workouts in a row without getting "bored". Every-workout is different, every month, a new goal. That, my friends, is why: YOU SUCK. Here's the thing, maybe if you actually took the time to learn some lifts, what it feels like to be under some strain and perfected some technique you wouldn't suck. But that Would be Boring. It would take practice and the realization that next week, on Tuesday, you'll be doing basically, the same damn thing. Confused Muscles and the WOD Mentality: X-Fit and P90X both are all about doing different stuff everyday. That's one of the big reasons why … [Read more...]

Sloppy Shoulders and Bad Rows

Untitled drawing (18)

Or How to Get a Funcked up Rotator Cuff. Or The Approximation Monologues. Or Just Keep Your Damn Shoulders in the Joint....Damn it. Shoulders are really very complex. The shoulder joint isn't actually one "shoulder" joint. It's 3: Sternoclavicular: Where the sternum and clavicle come together Acromioclavicular: Where the acromion and clavicle come together Glenohumeral: Where the humerus fits/articulates into the glenoid fossa.  Because of this the shoulder joint has a lot of movement, as in The shoulder joint is the most mobile joint on the human body.  This means it's also a lot like Charlie Sheen on drugs, not just awesome, but … [Read more...]

This Getting in Shape Thing, It’s Not Easy and Never Will Be

-Life is difficult. Yet, once we truly

I really hate it when people go, "It's easy for you to workout and eat right, you work in a gym." Or, my favorite "it's easy for you to be in shape, you get paid to work out all day." WTF is that, yeah, I work out all day..... The truth about this whole working out and being "in shape" thing: It Sure as Hell isn't Easy. If it was everyone would do it and most are not. Fact is: MOST people in the United States are overweight. (the number is somewhere around 60-70%). That's Fu#king Atrocious. I'm not going to be one of those "You're fat cause you're stupid and lazy" guys. Cause, you're not stupid.....you know what you should do AND you're not … [Read more...]

On Weight Belts and How Not to Blow out Your Back

Got Belt-

Weight Belts, they're Totally Misunderstood. Some research says: Weight Belts Don't Work. <----but this is mostly in occupational settings and has, for reasons I can't understand been extrapolated to the athletic performance arena.  Some, most, research says: Yes, They Do. Here's a really nice research review, kinda old, but still pretty good.  And that dude at the gym, the guy with the jorts and sweet rat-tail, he's always wearing one. But he's a total tool, The HUGE guy who deadlifts 5 plates for reps, he uses one too. And he's the strongest guy there.... So what's the deal? The deal is: [Tweet "Weight Belts are Used Wrong 99% of the … [Read more...]

10 Random Thoughts on the Deadlift

Snap City

#1: No, The Deadlift Doesn't Blow Out Backs: People are generally really scared of this lift and it's because this is, "deadlifts destroy your back" mind virus has permeated the culture for, since forever. It needs to stop. That sh@t YOU did, that blew out your back, it wasn't even a deadlift to begin with. [Tweet "Don't blame an exercise for your sh@tty technique."] #2: When I started this whole creating disciples to one day take over the world Training People Thing, no one Except me Deadlifted. I'm dead serious about this. <-----see what I did there? In college at (The) Towson University the ONLY people I ever saw deadlifting were with me or in the … [Read more...]

On Gym Etiquette and not Being “That Guy”.

funny-gym-December-wrestling-fight-January1

You're Gonna Do It This Year. You're going to stop spending 25% of your day ingesting worthless, no low value infotainment at he the price of your health and wellbeing. [Tweet "It's ok, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney won't even know you're gone and they can keep up with themselves."] Hell, you made a New Years Resolution. Like that means anything.  But sarcasm aside, this is what you're dealing with: It gets rough. Mostly cause it's like 10lbs of sh@t in a 5lbs bag, but partly cause there are lots of total A-holes out there. Here's your, New to the Whole Fitness Thing, survival guide. Lets start things off with the basics: Don't curl in the squat … [Read more...]

Eat Whatever the Hell You Want Till January 2nd.

Christmas snacking

Stop Worrying about How Much Weight You'll Gain Between Christmas and New Years. You hear all these stories about X,Y,Z gaining 10lbs last year and Uncle Don is going to tell you how if it wasn't for this time of year he'd still be at his "playing weight". You'll read all these articles about: "How to keep off Holiday Weight Gain" "How Not to Get Fat this Holiday" "Skip the Cookies and Eat some Carrots" "Quick Workouts to Keep Christmas Cookies Fatness at Bay" and other assorted BS. These are mostly people parroting what they hear and see and the media doing what it does using scare tactics to feed into the over-inflated fears of holiday weight gain. A … [Read more...]