New Year, New You? Why Your Resolutions are BS and WILL FAIL.

So ya got ya some “Resolutions”

Resolutions Defined:

a firm decision to do or not to do something.

Things like:

  • Eat better
  • Exercise more
  • Read more
  • Listen more
  • Be a better (insert: father, husband, wife, friend)
  • Sleep more
  • Sleep less
  • Be more present

But lets face it, it’s all bullsh@t and you know it.

I don’t want to be the buzzkill in the room but your resolutions are gonna fail.

Don’t get mad at me, get mad at all the failed resolutions made each year.

Why Do We Fail Ourselves?

It’s really pretty simple.

Does the calendar turning to Jan 1 fundamentally change who you are?

It Doesn’t.

And that’s why you fail.

“it’s important to recognize that outside-in solutions such as dieting, joining gyms and so on are doomed to fail if, other than your well-intentioned resolve to change, you’ve done nothing to enhance your capacity to either sustain motivation or handle the inevitable stress and discomfort involved in change. Saying this differently: Unless you first change your mind, don’t expect your health goals to materialize.”Joseph Luciani

When it comes down to it, the minute the motivation wears off,  you’re tired, miserable and stressed out are you really going to do the:

A: New Behavior that you are unfamiliar with, never wanted to do before and (most likely) find to be a chore…

or

B: Same old Sh@t that you’ve always done.

I’m telling ya, and you know it, you’re probably gonna do the same old sh@t.

Even if it’s destructive.

Why Do We Do Stupid Self Sabotaging Sh@t?

Cause it’s comfortable.

Yes, even stupid sh@t.

Stuff that, in no way, pays off and may actually be destructive…

We all do that stuff…..

When that’s what we’re used to doing.

McDonalds Tastes Like Sh@t, But We Still Go There.

Lets face it, there’s better food out there.

Like a LOT better.

Just look at it the next time you get McD’s.

Its greasy, slimy, smashed down, dead looking, carcass on a bun, craptastic food.

But people go there, in droves, cause:

THEY KNOW WHAT THEY’RE GOING TO GET.

People don’t care if it sucks.

Many people would rather get absolute crap in a bag.

AS LONG AS THEY KNOW EXACTLEY WHAT CRAP THEY’RE GETTING.

Rather than taking a chance and doing the unknown.

That’s how restaurant chains work.

Your experience, the ambiance, food etc ALWAYS needs to be the same.

They know this, that’s why successful chains are always carbon copies.

They understand that most people are more concerned with knowing exactly what their experience will be, than trying something new and possibly having a better experience.

Humans Seek Comfort Not Progress:

Why do people sit at home and watch 33 hours a week of TV (don’t even get me started on the phone stats) instead of using that time to progress their life?

Seriously, you could almost DOUBLE your working hours just by cutting out TV.

You could EASILY study, read, have a hobby, earn a degree, start a side hustle.

But instead we watch reruns of Property Brothers <—-yeah, I watch TV too and I get people need downtime. But @ 33hours a week, I NEVER want to hear, “I don’t have time to exercise” again.

Logically, this makes NO SENSE.

Literally, we trade income, promotions, progress, the options, opportunities and security that come with those, all the things many people say they want…

For knowing what happened on House of Cards.

Logically, that shit doesn’t compute.

At least not to me.

Until you accept, Humans Seek COMFORT, Not Progress.

What The Hell Does This Have to Do With New Years Resolutions?

Well, changing who you are is really hard and scary and mostly very uncomfortable.

New Year, New You, Right?

Really, NEW YOU?

You’re comfort level can’t go beyond the ambiguity of choosing something different for lunch and you think you’re going to fundamentally change, for good, as in, FOREVER, who you are.

The only walks you’ve been on in the last decade are the 30 steps from the couch to the fridge and back.

New Years Resolutions in hand, you’re gonna change it all on Jan 1 (with your giant hangover mind you).

You’re Not.

Unless You Do.

But it’s going to take more than a half-hearted, “I should do this that and the other and I’ll start it all after New Years” resolution to make it happen

The truth is:

“Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”― Tony Robbins

You’re going to have to take the steps to make a fundamental shift in your thinking.

In, who you are,

In, how you see yourself

In You’re Story.

“Your current behaviors are simply a reflection of your current identity. What you do now is a mirror image of the type of person you believe that you are….To change your behavior for good, you need to start believing new things about yourself.”James Clear

Well, That’s Some Monumental Sh@t, Looks Like You’re F-ed:

Or not.

You’ve probably changed lots of habits in your life and you don’t give them much thought because now those new habits are part of the story you tell yourself about who you are and what you do.

So keeping a New Years resolution is not so monumental that it can’t be done.

But it’s not easy either.

Most Common Exercise and Nutrition Based Behavior Change Mistake(s) I See:

*I’m guessing these can apply across MANY areas, but I’m sticking to what I know. 

I once heard someone say something to the effect of,

“Of those things I have a deep understanding of, I speak openly and confidently. Of those things I know little of, I keep my damn mouth shut“. 

So I’m gonna stick with what I know. 

Expecting Perfection On Day One:

I’m gonna let everyone in on one of the “Secrets” of the fitness industry.

 All Of Us In It Sucked On Day 1. 

The most common trait of a beginner is…

They SUCK

But through CONSISTENT practice, you get better and one day

Viola, you don’t suck so much.

Most of the “in shape” people were not “in shape” all their lives.

In fact, I would wager that up to 33% of the VERY “in shape” people I know are FFK <—Former Fat Kids. 

They changed that cause they put the work in over the long haul.

Not cause they “figured it out” or “had the secret”

They f-ing worked at it, CONSISTENTLY for a long time.

Crawl, Walk, Run, Sprint….

If you’re just starting out with this stuff,

Baby Steps, Baby…

You aint no good yet, so lets focus on just some basics, get our feet wet and test the waters out.

You haven’t exercised in decades or maybe ever, what the hell is the likelihood of you spending an hour in a gym (actually working) 5 times a week, or hell, even 3 times a week, for more than 2-3 weeks.

All I’m saying is, this place gets conspicuously quiet again come February 1 and the stats back me up.

But, how successful could you be if you just committed to taking a 10 minute walk everyday? <—-Yes, it can improve your health.

It doesn’t matter when, where, outside or treadmill.

What if you could commit to doing that 7 minute workout circuit everyday?

What matters is being:

Consistently, Consistent, Consistently

Maybe not even everyday.

But try to, and I mean actually give it an effort, everyday and you’ll probably be successful on most days.

Right?

Maybe as you become accustomed, some days it becomes 15 minutes, then 20 then 25 or you do the circuit twice or whatever….

Here’s the “Secret”:

We Need SMALL, Manageable, well within our ability level activities/ changes.

Why?

So We Can Win…

Winning Solves What Ails Ya:

Start small, make it so easy to win you barely even had to try.

All those small wins will add up and you’ll inevitably start to believe some different things about yourself.

Then, once you’ve learned to (metaphorically) crawl you can see how well you take to (metaphorically) “walking” and increase your commitment.

Sure, you’ll screw up, not meet goals, and feel frustrated.

Some days, hell LOTS of days, you’re not going to want to do any of it.

You won’t feeeeeeel like it…..

“You can’t control how you feel. But you can always choose how you act.”Mel Robbins

Stop Praying to The God of Motivation: 

For some reason we’ve all been indoctrinated at the alter of Motivation.

We’ve become a society that is reliant on his mercy, kindness and favor.

I’m just not motivated…

I’ll start when I’m motivated….

I’m no longer motivated….

I’m just not motivated…..

But the Reality is:

Motivation is no Deity.

Motivation is a snake in the garden.

Motivation is pure temptation.

Motivation tempts you into believing that when you don’t want to do something he’ll swoop in and save you from your lazy, excuse making, ass at any minute.

And that, is total bullshit.

Why Motivation Sucks:

IT DOESNT LAST

Motivation might convince you to make a resolution, to change a habit, to do something different or extraordinary, but, more times than not, that feeling is gone long before you reach your goal.

If you only do what you’re Motivated to do, You Wouldn’t Do ANYTHING.

And neither would I.

“Our brains are designed to protect us from those things because our brains are trying to keep us alive, and in order to change, in order to build a business, in order to be the best parent, the best spouse — to do all those things that you know you want to do with your life, with your work, with your dreams, you’re gonna have to do things that are difficult, uncertain, or scary. Which sets up this problem for all of us: you’re never gonna feel like it. Motivation’s garbage. You only feel motivated to do the things that are easy.”- Mel Robbins

It’s not that motivation can’t help and doesn’t have it’s place.

It’s just that motivation is the frienemy of emotions,

It’ll leave your ass high and dry when you most need it.

Don’t rely on it.

Don’t wait for it.

Take Nike’s advice….

But remember, you DO NOT need to be perfect.

You don’t need to go kill it and set PR’s everyday.

“If I only trained on the days I felt great, I’d hardly ever train” – John Bott

Sometimes, hell, lots of times,

But Roy, cmon’ man, don’t I need more than that? 

Lets remember, this is something new to you.

Something you’re NOT used to and inherently uncomfortable with.

There is going to be a Sh@t ton of internal conflict either conscious or subconscious about these new habits.

You need to acclimate your mind, body and emotions to this being part of who you are.

Play the Long Game 

Making and breaking habits is a long game.

It’s Going to be HARD,

Most worthwhile things in life are.

You WILL Have Setbacks, Fail, Backslide.

There is going to be some level of suffering involved.

What resolutions are you REALLY willing to suffer for?

“if you want the benefits of something in life, you have to also want the costs.”Mark Mason

Accept that.

Get over it, move on and make your resolutions stick this time.

“If you only ever did the things you don’t want to do, you’d have everything you’ve ever wanted.”

Mel Robbins

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