The Meatheads Holiday Gift Guide

I Pick Things up I Put Things Down

That’s what meatheads do, we lift sh@t.

So if you’re going to buy us stuff, it needs fit the template.

Here’s the template for the uninitiated:

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Fat Gripzz:

Fat Gripz

Fatbars are nice change of pace, work the hell out of your grip and really take the stress of the shoulders and elbows for some (they actually add to my shoulder stress, weird, I know)

But if you don’t have your own gym or a gym equipped with one, you’re screwed.

Granted you could spring for one if you train at home, but that’s about $200 bucks later and you need to store it.

That’s why Fat Gripzz are awesome.

They’re a whole hell of a lot cheaper and they take up almost no room at all.

They snap on the bar and you’re good to go.

Hear Rate Monitor:

If you’re not testing you’re guessing.

Any hear rate monitor will do, but I am partial to Polar, especially the ones with the own zone feature.

It looks like that’s the FT60 and higher now.

It’s basically a Heart Rate Variability monitor. The watch will tell you what type of workout is best for you that day.

Overstressed, take it easy.

Recovery is good, go get it.

Regardless, simply knowing what your heart rate is while training can provide massive benefits, especially during “cardio” (cardiac development) or recovery based workouts when it’s important to constantly stay in a certain zone.

HRV Monitoring System:

BioForce, Omega Wave, whatever.

If your training hard often HRV monitoring can be a godsend.

The fact is you can’t train hard all the time and when you have a mixed energy system sport it’s important to know where your recovery is after and before workouts so you can adjust your training to have optimal training sessions as often as possible.

Caveat: Having a HRV system does NOTHING if you don’t pay attention to it or understand what the feedback means and how to adjust your training.

Quest Protein Bars:


Meat Heads live and die, or grow and shrink daily based on our protein intake <—–yes, we all have body dismorphia issues.

Quest in my humble opinion makes the best protein bars on the face of the planet.

Lots of protein, lots of fiber and they taste awesome.

Floss Band:

The truth is: If you’re training hard regularly, you’re gonna get some ouchies.

SH@t happens.

These wont treat your problem necessarily but they will help you train through some minor ouchies.

They really help to unlock tacked down tissues and calm down hotspots.

Floss bands tend to be especially effective on the ankles, knees and elbows.

Yes, it’s gonna hurt, but you’ll be amazed at how much more motion a joint has after using them.

Body Beast:

I’ve seen the infomercial and I’m convinced, it’s like muscle confusion only with heavy(er) weights and no jumping….. Or not.

I mean the first exercise on this video is close grip upright row…

Hellllllooooo Shoulder Pain….

Body Beast is a joke. Don’t buy that crap.

Pumping Iron:

pumping Iron This is the most revered movie in the Meatheads life.

It’s Arnold, Franco and Ferrigno…

Lifting…and smoking dope at the end.


What could be better?

Not a whole hell of a lot, let me tell you.

EliteFts Swiss Press Bar:

Meatheads get beat up.

We live by,

“You’re going to see a doctor in your lifetime. Either the cardiologist or the orthopedist, choose wisely.”

Or both due to your years of unsupervised AAS use.

That said, meatheads bench.

Other than me, who meets a fellow meat head for the first time and goes,

“What do you Squat”?

Not many, It’s always,

“What Cha Bench?”

But benching is especially hard on the shoulders of most and after a few years you learn  that you can’t constantly bench without repercussions.

This bar helps with some of that.

The neutral grip helps keep the shoulder joints more “open” than the traditional straight bar and that position is much more shoulder (and wrist and elbow) friendly.

Blender Bottle:

blender bottle Yeah, we already have one or two…. dozen.

But all it takes is a day in the bag or worse a week left in the car.

And that bottle has more penicillin growing in it than all of NIH.

The stench alone is pure toxic waste.

There’s no saving it.

So you’re throwing that one out, and the 3 others you just found under the seat with it.

Gonna need a replacement.


The worst coach you can have is yourself or that guy at the globo gym who wears the extra small Under Armour all the time.

You’re always going to do what you like and you’re good at.

You’re always going to neglect what you need and what you suck at.

Having an unbiased coach solves this, plus there is never the question of what to do today.

You’re programming is mapped out and adjusted as it needs to be given you’re state of training and goals.

Did I mention, I provide this service and get pretty good outcomes,

Ohhh, I didn’t?

Well, I do.

Here’s some testimonials and here’s where you can apply or get it for someone else.<—-tis the season and all that jazz.


Go forth, buy some meathead gear,  keep Santa Jacked and capitalism humming along strong.

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